


the reward for subtlety

by wartransmission



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Douchestuck, M/M, with less angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-14
Updated: 2013-08-14
Packaged: 2017-12-23 11:08:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/925656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wartransmission/pseuds/wartransmission
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are love notes in his locker. They are hideous and they contain pathetically desperate pick-up lines, but they are, still, love notes. The shakily drawn pink hearts are enough evidence to prove that.</p><p>"I can't do this anymore," Dave says to himself, even as Rose sneaks one letter out of his locker to check on them. "I can't fucking do this, Rose."</p>
            </blockquote>





	the reward for subtlety

"Come on, Strider. One date to show you how much I mean it."

 

Dave rolls his eyes, neatly placing his English literature book between his Chemistry and History book. "No amount of dates would ever prove your capacity to genuinely like another human being, Egbert. Give it up," he says as he shuts his locker door after grabbing his portfolio. The damn thing isn't even close to being done, what with his lack of inspiration.

 

"You've never even tried! How can you be so sure that I don't really like you?" John whines, following after Dave when he starts heading down the hallway. 

 

"Uh, because your sex life is as active as the geologic faults in the Pacific ring of fire?"

 

"What!" John jogs after Dave, catching up to him and giving him an intensely offended look. "I'll have you know that I've never had sex with anyone ever since I realized I had the hots for you. I don't know what you've been hearing, but it's definitely not true."

 

Dave sucks in a breath, murmurs to himself ("oh god, he understood that"), before giving John the stink-eye and saying, "All the more reason I shouldn't date you. You're most likely expecting me to put out on the first date, aren't you? Considering how, if what you've said is true, your libido's pretty unsatisfied in the months that you've pestered me."

 

"I can be a gentleman!" John insists, pressing closer into Dave's space. "I can wait, and everything. I don't mind!"

 

"Egbert, I don't give a fuck. Leave me alone."

 

"Dave, just-" John begins, walking in front of Dave and trying to stop him from his path, which is how he suddenly finds himself feeling winded and lying on his back on the cold floor. John is definitely sure that Dave just flipped him over in two seconds without much effort. He wheezes out, " _Holy shit_."

 

"Just give up," Dave says, already walking away.

 

"This isn't going to stop me!" John yells in reply, struggling to stand up without feeling the light ache in his back. "It was actually pretty hot, you know!"

 

"Oh my god," Dave murmurs to himself, not once looking back. (Because it was gross and not because he thought it was hot that John thought it was hot. Obviously.)

 

 

 

****

 

 

"You should keep your boyfriend in line," Terezi says as soon as Dave greets her with a wave.

 

"Uh," he says intelligently, before raising an eyebrow. "I don't have a boyfriend? Unless we're talking about friends who are dudes, in which case I should remind you of the proper usage of-"

 

"I don't have time for your intellectual ramblings, dickweed," Terezi grumbles, sounding more pissed off than usual. "Your loverboy thought it'd be smart to test my patience and asked for a fight, thinking I was hitting on you. He's in the infirmary."

 

If Dave could pull off using emoticons in real life, his face would probably be saying ">:???" right then. He says, because he's really confused about this whole 'boyfriend' thing, "Just tell me who the fuck you're talking about, 'Rezi."

 

"Who the hell else is it who's sneaking flowers into your locker?"

 

"Egbert isn't my boyfriend," he says immediately, blinking when Terezi makes a face at him. "What?"

 

"Sure he isn't," Terezi says, looking marginally less angry as she pats him on the shoulder, before walking away. 

 

"I don't know what Karkat sees in you!" Dave yells at her back, feeling justified when she flips her middle finger at him.

 

 

\---

 

 

Because he's a magnanimous guy in general, he visits the infirmary, if only to check on how John is doing and if he's still alive. 

 

He's alive and, thankfully enough, asleep when Dave checks on him. He's sporting bruises on his cheek, his hair is messier than usual, and he's curled up in a fetal position on the infirmary bed, all in all looking more harmless than he usually does when he's awake.

 

Dave ignores how John murmurs something that sounds like his name in his sleep, because that's just creepy.

 

 

****

 

 

"Say yes."

 

"No," Dave says, face blank as he looks at John. "Get out of the way, Egbert."

 

"Say yes, and I'll get out of the way," John says, grinning smugly as he keeps blocking the way to the school entrance.

 

"I'm not the only person you're bothering with this, I hope you realize," Dave says, just as another guy from the back of the line yells "get the fuck in already, christ!"

 

"I don't care."

 

"Fine."

 

John brightens at that, before sputtering in surprise when Dave hops over the railing to the stairs and runs for the nearest window. He opens it without much effort, all with John gaping at him in shock as he slips inside.

 

"Goddamnit," John grumbles, ignoring the chorus of relieved groans from behind him as he moves out of the way.

 

 

****

 

 

"Did you happen to hire a small marching band last night for the school's morning announcement? Because the cheerleaders accompanying them seem to know you well."

 

"I can never understand anything that comes out of your mouth," Dave says to Rose, making a face at her when she rolls his eyes at him. "What marching band-"

 

The sounds of drums and cymbals rounding the corner of the school cut him off before he can continue, the four cheerleaders' yelling only adding to his his headache as they make enough of a scene on the campus to garner a crowd of approximately thirty or more people.

 

"I don't think there are any other Dave Striders in Skaia High, Dave," Rose says over the noise, raising an eyebrow at Dave as she tilts her head as a pointing gesture to the- _jesus fuck_.

 

That's a tarpaulin with his name on it. In neon blue.

 

"I'm going to fucking murder him," Dave snarls, his face growing into an angrier state when the marching band blatantly makes its way towards him.

 

"It's funny how you know John so well that you can assume he did this," Rose says to him, before waving goodbye when he starts sprinting into the school building. 

 

John is fucking dead when Dave gets his hands on him.  _Dead_.

 

 

\----

 

 

Once Dave finds John and convinces him enough to dismiss the marching band, he socks him right in the face. Not enough to make him spit blood or anything, but it's a close enough thing.

 

He's also pretty sure it's not going to stop John either way, but he's satisfied that he could, at least, show him how angry the whole thing made him. He'll (hopefully) never repeat it again after that, painful as it was.

 

 

****

 

 

" _Hello? Ok, it's working. Hey guys! Sorry to disturb you from your studying and teaching and all that, but I've got an important announcement to make."_

 

Dave freezes as soon as he realizes just who it is who's talking on the intercom, his pen punching just a little bit deeper into his notebook when John continues with, " _Dave Strider, as proof of how much I like you, I've asked the principal, who is my brilliant aunt, to let me use her intercom. Awesome, right? Anyway, yeah. I'm gonna play my favorite song from my favorite movie, which I'm sure you know, because who doesn't know Con-Air, really?"_

 

"Jesus," Dave hisses into his hands, which are both covering his face. He knows that everyone's looking at him without even turning his gaze up.

 

 _"So, here_ ," John says, just before a clicking sound escapes the intercom and a soothing soft tune starts up.

 

It barely gets through two stanzas before Dave's raising a hand and asking the teacher for permission to go out. The teacher, still a little stunned after hearing How Do I Live beginning to play on the intercom, just nods to him.

 

It doesn't take long for him to get to the principal's office, ignoring the beaming smile the vice-principal sends his way when he steps up to the principal's table. John automatically grins when he catches sight of Dave, setting aside the microphone as he says, "Hey! You couldn't wait to see me?"

 

"Turn it off. Now."

 

John frowns. "Why? You don't like it?"

 

"This is flagrant abuse of your connections within the school, Egbert. It's improper," Dave says, hiding his grimace under a poker face.

 

"But-"

 

"No."

 

"Dave-"

 

" _No_."

 

"It's supposed to be romantic," John mourns, staring at the music player with hesitance.

 

"Try to be subtle, and  _maybe_  I'll say yes."

 

It takes a minute before a growing sense of doom instills itself in Dave, the realization that he's just implied something else to John in his bout of sarcasm and annoyance overpowering his sense of calm.

 

"Oh," John says, his grin slowly getting wider as he perks up. "Oh! Okay, consider that noted. I'll do something else next time. Man, I always knew you were playing to hard to get, but I didn't think you'd ever actually give me any hints."

 

" _Shit_ " is the only thing that Dave can manage to think in response to that.

 

 

****

 

 

There are love notes in his locker. They are hideous and they contain pathetically desperate pick-up lines, but they are, still, love notes. The shakily drawn pink hearts are enough evidence to prove that.

 

"I can't do this anymore," Dave says to himself, even as Rose sneaks one letter out of his locker to check on them. "I can't fucking do this, Rose."

 

"Maybe if you'd stop wallowing in denial, you'll realize that you just need to talk to him," Rose says while waving the little paper heart around. It says, in chunky and bold letters, "do you like me?" with three boxes following after, labeled respectively with, "yes," "definitely!" and "absolutely!!"

 

Horrible. John couldn't have tried being more poetic?

 

"Talking never works," Dave grumbles, taking the paper heart from her and throwing it into the trash without hesitance. "You know that. It's been a year and he hasn't fucking stopped. I'm torn between awe at his sheer determination and disgust because he chose me of all people to target as a new fuck-toy."

 

Rose shrugs. "You're making it hard for the both of you." A pause, then she smiles wickedly. "No pun intended, of course. But you could have just gotten it over with in the first place by-'

 

"I can't have sex with him, Rose! What would happen to my dignity?" Dave complains, unloading the love letters from his locker and putting them all into the trash. "My virtue? The sole thing I have which proves-"

 

"-that you're trying too hard," Rose finishes for him with a roll of her eyes. "Dave, you've been pestering me about your wet dreams. Did you not ever think that you just need to get laid?"

 

"I," Dave begins, frowning at his locker, before sighing. "Yeah, maybe. Just a microscopic bit. But-"

 

"I think I remember someone talking about how hot John Egbert is," Rose interrupts again, earning a groan from Dave.

 

"I was half-asleep. it's not supposed to matter," Dave says, shutting his locker door. "Just because you're hot for Maryam doesn't mean that I should just succumb to peer pressure and let the dude into my pants like you let Maryam into yours."

 

"Dave, this isn't Mean Girls, and they aren't the Plastics," Rose says. "Besides, it's just sex. You get what you want, he gets what he wants, everyone is happy. I don't see a problem there."

 

Dave gives her a look as he shifts his satchel on his shoulder. "Maybe I don't just feel like having sex. Maybe I want more than that. What then?"

 

Rose laughs. She honest to god _laughs,_ which is fucking rude, and  _how dare she_? She says, "I don't think John would be desperate enough for sex to hire a marching band and send you flowers every day. Considering how we've both acknowledged that he's hot, then I think it's safe to say that everyone else thinks so too. Who wouldn't have sex with him, if that's the case?"

 

"I hate it when you make so much sense," Dave mumbles as he turns and heads for his English lit. class with Rose.

 

Rose smiles, tucking her hand into the crook of his arm. "I always do."

 

 

****

 

 

"Do I get a kiss in payment?" 

 

"You will if you stop moving around like a fucking earthworm," Dave grumbles, gesturing with a wave of his hand to John's legs. John crosses his ankle over his other foot in response, before sending a wide grin in Dave's direction. Dave huffs. "Try to look more neutral. Keep the book open on your lap, relax into the couch."

 

"Well maybe-"

 

"You do know that your talking is a major turn-off, don't you?" Dave says as he raises his camera to his face. "Now sit still."

 

John does as asked, thank god. It lasts for ten minutes, with Dave transitioning from checking on the results of his shots and asking John to move again. It lasts for ten minutes, until John goes and opens his mouth and says, "What turns you on, then?"

 

"It turns me on when you shut your mouth like a good boy," Dave snaps without looking up from his camera. Which is, well. It would have been good if he did, considering how, when he turns his camera back up to take a shot of John, he gets an eyeful of John flushed and sitting perfectly still on the sofa.

 

Wow. That's. That's ridiculously different (and  _hotter_ ) from the usual John Egbert Dave sees. 

 

"Good boy," he says, just to test it. John bites his lip, squirms a little more, before relaxing and returning to the pose Dave had asked him to do.

 

Oh, man. He'll be ruined before this whole photo shoot is over. 

 

"Maybe I'll give you a kiss as a reward, after all," he muses, before capturing five more shots of John relaxing on the couch, the book eventually losing its purpose in the following minutes as John shifts (without Dave's command) into a half-sprawled out position, his neck bared and eyes half-lidded.

 

(Yeah, definitely ruined.)

 

 

****

 

 

"Why does Egbert look so happy, Dave?"

 

"I don't know what you're talking about," Dave says, tightly tucking in the other end of his scarf into the curve it's making around his neck.

 

"Your scarf is on a little tight," Rose comments again, earning a flushed expression from Dave as he hurriedly packs his books into his satchel. "I do think something happened during your little photo shoot the day before, Strider. I didn't expect the developments to happen so quickly."

 

" _Nothing happened_ ," Dave says again, idly rubbing at his scarf-covered nape. "He posed, I took photos. That's it."

 

And, maybe, John left him some hickeys. A lot of hickeys, actually. 

 

Fucking possessive assholes.


End file.
